My Childhood Friend......Kari Lynn Howard Remembered

I was having just a normal everyday Wednesday yesterday, when I received a very sad phone call. It was a long lost friend I hadn't talked to since high school. I was pleasantly surprised to hear from her, but it was only a moment. I asked how she was doing and she said, "Not very good" and started to cry. I was stunned to learn a friend who I've known my whole life practically, had passed away in her sleep yesterday morning. Kari Howard, truly one of my favorite high school friends, who was sweet and funny and genuine, had been struggling with severe migraines and had had surgery the day before to relieve her pain, had gone to sleep Tuesday night and her father couldn't wake her the next morning. I felt so sad for Heather, my other high school friend, because she and Kari had remained close, and for Kari's girls. She had a 10 year old and a 6 year old. I also felt sad for me. I felt sad that so much time had gone by and I have let so many friendships that were so crucial to my emotional state in school, go as soon as our graduation gowns were taken off. I truly loved Kari when we were in school and she was a friendship I cherished. But, time got away from me as it does so often and life takes you in different directions. High School was very hard for me. It was a place I struggled to fit in. It was a place where kids could be cruel and a lot of us misfits just wanted to survive. I graduated and ran as fast as I could away. I have many regrets about the friendships I also left behind. Because, even though it was a very hard place to be, I had some really wonderful experiences there too and had some amazing friendships, as well. So, as I say goodbye to Kari, my hope is I learn from her and maybe try harder to reconnect with some of those wonderful people I survived high school with. I hope all the ghosts of Murray High are finally buried for me and it isn't too late for happy new beginnings. I believe there are still good times to be had with old friends. Goodbye Kari. God bless your way. I tread on.......

What's on my Happy List Today?

I am a total thief with this one, but I love it so thanks Misty and Andrea! I woke up this morning happy. So, before I stepped out into the world and someone pissed me off or stepped on my toe...you get the picture...I wanted to appreciate the mood!

1. I am leaving tomorrow for a cruise!! Whoot Whoo!!
2. I've lost an additional 2 pounds that were unexpected!! 113 and 87 to go. My pal Amy Just started with my trainer and she lost 4.5 lbs. in the first week!! I am so proud of her I could bust something! Go Todd....Go Todd!!
3. I have the greatest, most wonderful, most beautiful (inside and out) friends a girl could ask for, and I love each and everyone of them dearly. I am soo blessed.
4. I love my job! I really do and I love where I work too, which hasn't been the case in the past. Even with the really complicated women I work with. I love each of them for who they are and we seem to make a good fit.
5. I have a lovely family, even though I am convinced we are all nuts! I am finally in a good place with each of them and I love it!!
6. My baby sister surprised me last night with a mini makeover at her house, just because she knew I wanted one and didn't have time to go to the mall. So cute, I almost cried a little.
7. My toes are painted a smashing color of pink with little flowers on them. The color is called La Pazatively Hot and they are!!
8. I am already packed. (Not a small miracle, I can assure you!)
9. I am going to the funnest piano bar tonight to start my trip off with a bang!
10. My new pixie cut is SUPER CUTE!! Thanks Karen!! :)

I am so blessed. I forget that sometimes and it is a tragedy really, because I think I am missing out on some really good blubbery happy cries and smiles. I really need to remember this fact, because there are so many people that have it so much harder than me and I am such a whiner sometimes!! One of my resolutions (early) for next year. Anyhoo, one more day of work and then....let the party begin!! Halla!! FYI: this is my newest and favorite quote from my all time favorite show.....The Biggest Loser. "You are one breath away from being ANYTHING you want to be....stop holding it!!" I love Jillian, even though I would kill myself if she were my trainer. I am ready to exhale. I tread on....

Final Pre-Cruise Tally.......

Well, I leave for my "skinny cruise" on Saturday. I cannot believe it is finally here!! I have worked so hard and I wish this year hadn't been so stressful and I could have accomplished EXACTLY what I wanted to, but, I am very happy with my results. I weighed in for the final tally this morning and the final number before I step on the ship is.......111 lbs! I am very happy with that. I truly feel like a different person in a lot of ways and the same in others, but I don't think I will be the biggest girl in the room anymore, unless I am at an anorexia convention, so I am glad!! I can't wait to post when I get back!! Hopefully, I will have had sooo many new adventures, that I will have loads to share. I appreciate all of my friends and family who have supported my quest, and I am excited to see what happens next......Stay tuned. :)

Here Comes The Bride.....

Want to see what I did this weekend?

My gorgeous cousin Eileen got married on the beach in Florida! Oh my gosh, she was stunning!! My cousin that was never going to get married......HA! It was so much fun to see everyone and catch up! It was a quick weekend, but well worth the trip! Besides the fact I almost starved to death, because if there is one thing my family does well, it is eat and they know how to do it right~~Good Lord do they ever!! Here are a few pics of the wedding and the fam.

I love them all so much!!

This is me in my cute kind of "trampy" dress that showed off a little too much of my "girls" and my adorable cousin Becca who I refer to as "Trucker Jane" because let's just say she's got a bit of a potty mouth. I love her!! :)

This was the gazebo she as married on right on the beach! Soooo Dreamy a Local!

Can you imagine a more romantic spot??

The limo dropped them off to walk down the aisle. Such fun and my aunt was a total knockout!!

Sooo beautiful!

My aunt who just isn't sentimental was crying like a baby! It was adorable!!

This is my 2nd cousin Avery who is the cutest little kid I've ever seen! She is so stinkin' cute!! She stole the show!! Watching my cousin Jay with her made me cry. He is such a great dad!

This is her Daddy my cousin Jay. I adore him!! He and I are only 3 months apart in age and just about every story about our childhood together starts with....do you remember when you and Jay got into trouble doing this??

Me and Jay.

Me and Mama. Oh....look the "girls" are coming out of the dress again! My bad!! I had such a great time except for the starving part. Let me show you what I lived on for 4 days.....

Yum-O! UGH!!

I Have No Life!!

So....I've reached a whole new level of no life these days. Again, realizing there are MANY others who have much more difficult lives than mine. But, seriously, I am a bit concerned that I need to diversify my interests just a wee bit. Here are some examples that are causing my to fret.....

1. This is my latest accessory that I am wearing with every outfit--day and night. It is a body bugg and it measures all the calories I burn at all times. (The sad thing is I love it and love the control it gives me to know exactly what my body is burning!)
2. I am going on vacation to Florida on Friday to see my lovely cousin get married and I actually called the hotel I am staying in to make SURE they had a gym I could work out in and what the hours were!
3. I have stocked my suitcase with meal replacement bars in case I get into a situation where I can't count the calories to put into my beloved body bugg.
4. I have done 2 (count em') 2 a day workouts for the last 2 weeks to prepare to see my family again. (Yes I said twice a day)
5. I am walking around like an old woman and each pain I can tell you EXACTLY how I got it and what exercise my trainer made me do to achieve this level of pain.
6. I have made my trainer PROMISE he will answer each and every emergency call I make while out of the state.

I believe I have reached the obsessed state and I need help! I need to get a life and stop making friends at the gym. I don't think it is healthy to try and be this healthy. Do they deal with these issues on Celebrity Rehab or Intervention?? Help Dr. Drew!! :) I bike on.......

You Know Those Emails??

Everyone that has email access is inundated with forwards. Right? I know I am! UGH!! It is so aggravating sometimes. You open up an email from a friend or family member and it takes you 5 minutes to find the ACTUAL email and then you see......it is some cheesy joke sent around 8 million times or vote for your favorite pie...you get the picture. But this morning, I received one that I actually read and it touched my heart. If all of us would live this way, just try to imagine how much better our world would be. I had to share it. I wish this for everyone I love. May we find happy today.

St. Theresa's Prayer

May today there be peace within. May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content knowing you are a child of God. Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.

Remembering Dreams....

As I sit here, sore pretty much head to toe, again in not so attractive gym clothes, I ponder. If I think back to my youth (because today I feel the age of the crypt keeper) did I ever imagine that my life would be consisting of working, working out, cleaning, laundry, taking out the garbage, helping my mother with 5000 tedious jobs a week and sleep? I think my dreams were a bit grander back then. I believe my plan was to marry @ 23. Have kids @ 28 and live happily ever after. (I am at this moment sticking my tongue out and making an appropriate sound effect) But, I also never dreamed I would be surrounded by such wonderful people and frankly, I didn't think I would have ever had the discipline to be on a diet for 9 months and be succeeding, either.

The reason I bring this up, is, I had a really crappy day yesterday. I can't put a finger on what exactly was the problem, but I was certifiably grumpy, and I couldn't shake it, no matter how I tried. My trainer, I'm sure, went home and had an adult beverage after working with me yesterday. He is all about auras and feelings and "sensed my melancholy aura" during our workout. I believe I told him to back off. Not nice, I agree and I did apologize later, but one of the downsides of being the "life of the party" in most situations is there is no hiding a foul mood from others and my "melancholy aura" didn't want to be recognized! I guess with the world the way it is right now, it is so hard to find joy. Everyone is walking around with their own fears and issues and I can only imagine if there are telepathic people in the world, how many of them are jumping off bridges to escape all the whining!

But, the good news is there is always someone in your life, that can bring you out of your funk! Yesterday, it was my sister, who I went to the gym with and sympathized with my "bicycle cardio purgatory" and rode one with me, while attempting to grade papers at the same time. The facial expressions alone were worth the pain I endured on my butt! She and I have decided to form a secret society of dieters, called the skins. She cracks me up and I truly felt better afterward. I just hope that if any of my pals are in the pit of despair, and need a lift, I will be able to pay it forward!! I am available. :)