5K Mania Continues......

So, this new life I'm leading.....who is she? This girl has made exercise a PRIORITY and feels guilty when she misses one of her 2 a days!! This girl actively tries to add VEGETABLES to her diet and is trying new low fat recipes everyday! This girl has 2 blind dates set up in the next month.......WHAT? I haven't been on a "date" since 1995! (Sad, but true) This girl did her 7th 5K of the season and shaved off another 5 & 1/2 minutes off her best time and RAN every 2 minutes throughout the entire thing! (This girl took a serious nap after!!)

I can honestly say, I don't recognize who I am becoming and just have to go with the flow everyday, to see where it takes me. I can't plan too far ahead, because frankly, I scare myself to death. I don't know how to be me sometimes. I don't even know if this makes sense, but when you've lived most of your life for others, because you didn't believe true satisfaction and happiness was within your reach, these feelings of hope and joy, are a foreign language. My trainers have been telling me for almost a year, that I was capable of these feelings, but I honestly haven't believed them. It was too much to wish for. Hope is a dangerous thing in my life. My poor trainer Todd never knows who is going to sit across from him, because my coping mechanism of over eating has been eliminated from my life, so I am just living "raw" all the time and can pretty much cry on cue. I'm hoping in the coming year, I will be better able to deal with the little tragedies that come up in life better. My sadness over them seem to be a little shorter, so I am hopeful. Yoga is my new idea for helping my stress level.

The reason I post today is, I am so terribly grateful for all of my experiences this year, good and bad. I have learned some extremely valuable lessons, that have transformed my life in immeasurable ways. I am so grateful for the old friends who have come back into my life, the new friends I have added to my "core" group this year, the friends who continue to show me what true friendship really means and for my family who don't quite know what to do with me, frankly, and love me anyway. I don't have any idea where my life is taking me on this wacky journey, but one thing is for sure.....the old me is finally at peace with herself and is watching intently to see where the new me leads her. 125 and counting....I tread on.

Another Lifetime Ago :) 355 lbs.