Just When You Think....

So, Sunday was bad. Really bad. Woke up sad and frustrated. Just a bad week all together. I went to the gym and...dun dun dun...I'd gained weight! 2 freakin' pounds and I had worked out 6 of the 7 days and had eaten well. What the....? So, my trainer looks at me with love and concern and says, "well, maybe you've hit a plateau." Already?? Again I say, What the....?? Then, she decides to work on stabilization which I call "humiliation", where you work on balance and agility. I have neither, apparently. And in a room full of hot people, not really a confidence building exercise, to say the least. Anyhoo, I got through it without crying, barely, and finished my workout and left. Now, my trainer is the sweetest person I've ever met and I love her dearly. She is so motivating and comforting and I am paying her to torture, I mean train me, and she is doing a great job. But, I don't think she had any idea what a fragile, complicated, freak I am and the silliest thing can set me off, as most of my friends and family know-sadly. So, I left the gym and sobbed all the way home. I was done. Why try this hard and gain weight? I can do that will t.v. and cheese fries. I cried for an hour. Truly ridiculous, I know, but I think it needed to be done. (If nothing else, maybe I dropped a few ounces of water-kidding) I came home and what positive, life affirming, good decision did I make? I had an ice cream sundae. Genius, I realize. BUT IT WAS DELICIOUS! If you were curious. I spent most of the afternoon in bed feeling sorry for myself and rehearsing how I was going to quit my personal training. My Mom didn't quite know what to do with me, so she just let me be.

Now, the reason I am sharing this humiliating behavior, is because the most amazing thing happened. Once I starting really thinking about the situation and stopped feeling sorry for myself, the solution came to me. My life had become chaos. I was focused on the weight instead of why I was really doing this-to change my life. I got out of bed, washed my face and tried to figure out where I went wrong. In the meantime, I cleaned my closet, my room, my car and did my laundry. I organized my purse-I was a woman on a mission! I felt so much better-empowered really! I talked to my sister Kate who is into nutrition and she helped me figure out that I wasn't eating the right foods together and she was going to help me figure out a new food plan that wasn't so boring. I was seeing the light! But the best thing that happened, was the next day, when I woke up and there was a note from my Mom. It made me tear up for a totally different reason. It said,

"Be proud of what you are doing Crissy--you look great! There are HIs and lows and the fates are there in the lows to lure you back to old ways. Don't succumb. I'm so proud of you and know you can do it. Keep your eye on your goal--it will be sooo worth it! Have a good day. Love, Mom."

Does it get any better then a note from your Mom? I love her. I tread on.